First off, I wasn't drinking. I swear.

Today on our way to the grocery I found a dog tied to a pole, lying on the floor. As we came closer, I noticed something was wrong with it: its head had a BIG HOLE where its upper and forehead were supposed to be, as if it had imploded. I guess it was some kind of infection or something. You could see its rotten brain in the open, with flies coming in and out, and its eye sockets were flat, as if its eyes had dried inside. Up to that point, gross enough as it is, I felt pity for the poor dog and the terrible death it must have suffered.

But then, all of a sudden, lo and behold, THE DOG ROSE AND STARTED TO BARK AT US.

WHAT

THE

FUCK!?!?!?

When we told our story at the grocery they told us the dog has been around for a couple of days now.

Dear Freaky Dog: There's a big friggin' hole in your head. You can't hide the fact that your brain is black rotten 'cause... well, you don't have a skull to hide it. As sad as that is, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD, not scaring the living crap out of people passing by. Freaking zombie.

(Any of you have any idea of how is this possible, how come this dog is alive???)